January 13, 2007
Happy 2007
I'm kicking off 2007 by showing some highlights of our trip to New York for New Year's, as you can see fun wass had by all. Maybe too much fun...
Bagels in Brooklyn, on our first day.
At the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens.
On the Staten Island Ferry, with Manhattan in the background.
Dan, Rob, and Nate are going to use this on their album cover.
I just love this one of Rob.
Nate & Lady Liberty.
Me...
Why so serious?
Jekyll & Hyde: Chuck E. Cheese for grown ups.
Still at J&H.
I Love that face!
Subway train (by Rob).
HA!
Me, Dan & Nick (at Motor City- a bar in the Meatpacking Dist.)
Nick took this purposefully(?) upside down, I couldn't change it.
Brendan & Nate (at Tortilla Flats, bar # 4 of 5).
The Morning After- Nate & Gonzo.
The Natural History Museum- Nate and a distant ancestor of the moose.
Nate askes a woman to take our picture, turns out she didn't speak English and was also blind. Her grandson ended up taking the photo.
This is Nate's favorite, so I had to include it.
Early in the evening on New Year's Eve.
My favorite shoes (or one of them- rather), before they got ruined. So sad.
On the train into Manhattan.
Ditto.
Making skinny faces.
Rob as a model (at Morimoto- the restaurant where Brendan works and Lindsay Lohan likes to hang out).
Champagne on a train!
So true, so true...
Back in Brooklyn, Dan and Rob need to make an important phone call.
Nate took this one for our friend Hope (Dan cheering in foreground).
The countdown to '07.
Dan!
Nate & I at Clem's (now our official spot in Brooklyn).
Dan with claw face.
And this one pretty much sums it all up: Nate on Day 1 and again on Day 6.
Posted by April at 12:34 PM | Comments (1)
November 07, 2006
The Wedding
I think it's been a month to the day since my sister Summer and her long-time partner, Tom, tied the knot. I've finally uploaded some pictures and would like to share. It was a fun time and the photos came out well, I think:
I had to start with one of Nate and I, of course.
Summer looked beautiful!
Tom- the groom, being a goof
Rebecca and I walk up the aisle.
Uncle Randy & Aunt Kathy
Summer & Mom
Uncle Nate & Simon
The wedding party
Posted by April at 08:25 PM | Comments (1)
August 04, 2006
"The ----------"
Today marks the first occurrence of a disquieting Hollywood trend I've noticed. I'm only speaking from the position of having been in 'The Industry' for six months or so, but that doesn't mean I don't know a trend when I spot one. The trend has to do with movie titles, and today's opening of The Descent is its harbinger.
This post has little to do with The Descent itself, but since I like the people at Lion's Gate (the last truly independent distributor in Hollywood) I'll tell you a little more about it. The Descent is a horror movie about a group of young women who go spelunking and are picked off one-by-one by humanoid cave dwellers. I know the premise doesn't sound fantastic- but this is coming from the studio that knows horror best (they also brought you Hostel, The Devil's Rejects, and the Saw franchise, to name a few). I personally don't care for the genre, so I won't be watching The Descent, ever. The reviews, however, have been good- great even, so if you consider being scared shitless the height of entertainment then go see The Descent- you won't be disappointed.
I know- you're wondering what hot Hollywood trend The Descent represents. Well, it's something that's proven rather frustrating in my position at AMC, and even more so from the perspective of someone who prides herself on being able to remember inane details about every film that's slated for release in the next six months. It's the annoying practice of titling a film “The ______.” The Descent is the first in a long series of upcoming movies that attempt to capture audiences' attention with a single word. The problem, in case it's not implicit, is that this makes it virtually impossible to tell them all apart, no matter how many times I've looked them up on IMDb or seen the trailers.
You don't believe me? Below is a list of upcoming movies that are guilty of this nasty trait. Below that are my synopses of those films. See if you can match them up. Of course this will prove difficult without prior knowledge of any of the films- so here's another challenge if you have the time and/or the inclination: Look up each of the film titles on IMDb, read all about them, take notes if you want. Then a day or two later try to match up the titles with their plots (except don't use your notes, if you took them- that's cheating). I'd wager you don't get more than half of them right (less, in fact). I'll provide you with the answers next week. Try it and see if you don't agree with me.
1 The Covenant
2 The Departed
3 The Fountain
4 The Guardian
5 The Hoax
6 The Holiday
7 The Illusionist
8 The Prestige
9 The Protector
10 The Quiet
11 The Reaping
12 The Return
A Relationship trauma inspires Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslet to swap houses (in LA and London)- romance and hilarity ensue.
B Kevin Costner plays a veteran Coast Guard hero who trains the next generation and then has to rescue his star pupil (Ashton Kutcher).
C A martial arts bonanza featuring Ong Bak (aThai sensation).
D Hillary Swank plays a scientist who tries to solve a series of mysterious events in a small Southern town.
E A band of hot teen witches (all male) is threatened when a powerful new witch moves to town.
F Edward Norton is a magician who falls in love with a woman (Jessica Biel) engaged to a brooding European aristocrat.
G Sarah Michelle Gellar plays a woman haunted by nightmares that lead her to DANGER.
H Christian Bale and Hugh Jackman are magicians whose relationship goes from friendly to acrimonious.
I A star-studded Martin Scorsese crime drama.
J Richard Gere's character writes a fake biography of Howard Hughes and sells it to a major publishing company for $1M.
K Hugh Jackman and Rachel Weiss play lovers whose story spans thousands of years and three incarnations.
L A racy thriller featuring Alisha Cuthbert as a teen with murderous designs on her father.
Posted by April at 12:38 PM | Comments (0)
May 25, 2006
Wikipedia- OK!
I discovered today that my humble blog is featured as a link on Wikipedia’s article for the City of Vinita in the great state of Oklahoma!The link references my entry on the McDonald’s in Vinita, OK that claims to be the world’s largest of the fast food chain. In the current month (May, 2006) four people have been referred from Wikipedia…. who knows how many more individuals interested in Oklahoma will be referred to my musings.
Meanwhile, I just read the Wikipedia article on AMC Theatres. It’s pretty typical of what you’d expect—so many of Wikipedia’s entries are by proponents of whatever organization the article highlights that it’s almost become a farce- but there are a few things that aren’t completely corporate- so if you’re completely bored and have nothing better to do you may want to check it out.
Posted by April at 10:44 PM | Comments (0)
May 15, 2006
Overheard in Kansas City
In addition to the ecological and social benefits of riding the bus there is the benefit of overhearing others’ conversations. Occasionally, what you overhear is priceless. As my friend James would say, “You can’t make this shit up.” Here’s one such conversation- overheard on Friday.
Woman # 1 (upon seeing her friend board the bus): What are you doing on the bus? I thought you got your driver’s licscense.
Woman # 2: Naw- I didn’t pass.
#1: What happened?
#2: That bitch told me I had anger management problems!
#1: What?
#2: I passed my written all right, and then I was taking my driving test in North Kansas City and some bitch in a big SUV cut me off.
#1: Oh no…
#2: So I stepped on the gas, pulled into the other lane, flipped her the bird (at this point woman # 2 demonstrates said action for the other passengers to witness), and cut her off right back! Then I turned to my driving instructor and said ‘that’ll teach her to cut people off!’
#1: Oh my god—what did the driving instructor say?
#2: She made me pull over and says I failed my driving test! She was going on about how I need anger management classes, and then you know what I did?
#1: What?
#2: I told that bitch to get the hell out of my car! If she says I got issues, well she’d just better learn how to hitch hike!!!
#1: And you just left her there?
#2: Damn right I did, she tells me I need anger management, shit.
There are, of course, several things that make this story hilarious- and I realize that there’s no better way to ruin a joke than to dissect it, but I have to point out my favorite part: that while Woman # 2 has no problem abandoning her driving test monitor in a relatively deserted part of town, she won’t drive without her license on a day to day basis and still finds herself commuting on public transit.
And because Nate asked when I first relayed the story to him, I’m obliged to provide a physical description of Woman # 2. Probably in her mid forties (or younger, but aged by decades of partying- which is plausible given her personality), she wore overalls and a really tight t-shirt. Her long brown ponytail hung out the back of her ball cap limply, strands getting tangled in the cords of her Walkman headphones, which she had stuck to her temples above her ears. Her gregarious smile revealed a few missing teeth—back and side teeth, the front were just crooked and stained, threatening to take the same route as their missing counterparts before too long. She was wearing highly reflective sunglasses, in a style available at most gas stations, but she removed these before getting very far in her story, perching them on the bill of her ball cap, which was no small feat considering the headphones. Her shoes seemed to be a cross between work boots and sneakers, though it was difficult to tell because they were so dirty and battered.
Generally, she seemed like a riot- the kind of woman you hope to find yourself the next booth from at a dive bar. Not the kind of person you’d want to spend a lot of time with, but who’s always good for an outrageous story. Listening to her I got the certain impression that the driving test incident was only one of many in a lifetime of wreaking havoc on public officials. She took a certain joy, not only in the retelling of it, but also in the event itself.
Posted by April at 07:34 PM | Comments (2)
March 30, 2006
In case you were wondering...
I was looking up something else and came across this Wikipedia entry about movie trailers. As AMC's resident trailer maven I was surprised at how much I didn't know about the history of trailers. It's a short read- check it out.
By the way- I just love the title "Trailer Maven" and would have it printed on my business cards if they'd let me.
Posted by April at 11:02 PM | Comments (1)
March 28, 2006
In Like a Lion- Out Like a Lamb
That’s what they say about the month of March—and while it’s hard to say if that’s been true for me it has been quite a month. Let’s see how well I can elaborate…
One notable thing is that I had another birthday. The day itself was uneventful- it fell on a Monday and I was alone with the world’s two best kitties. I did have a handful of phone conversations and caught up with some people I hadn’t talked with in too long- thanks guys, you know who you are. Nate’s birthday surprise is scheduled for Friday (no pressure, darling- I just know some of my other readers were concerned).
The week before my big b-day was St. Patrick’s Day and I made new friend. He rides my bus and invited me for a beer—we went to a local dive and split a pitcher of PBR, then went to his place and hung out some more. His name is David Wayne and he’s on My Space if you want to learn more. I’ll just add that I feel lucky to have met someone so fun and cool- Kansas City is already a lot less lonely for knowing him.
We’ve also acquired some furniture—some really fabulous pieces that I’ll be posting pictures of as soon as I resolve my digital camera issues. We’ve got a sofa (vintage ‘60s red tweed), matching chair, mid-century mod coffee table, and 1930’s deco dining room set. And all at unbelievable bargains! You really can’t beat the Midwest when it comes to finding great deals. I also got another dresser because there’s next to no closet space in my apartment. I can’t wait to start the rest of the decorating: rugs, curtains, accessories, oh my!
Another big deal is that I’ve finally got the job at AMC. I already mentioned that I was hired on a temporary basis, and many of you know they sort of offered me the position almost two months ago. Well the human resources department at AMC is thorough (to say the least), compounded by the fact that they take credit very seriously and I have a miserable credit history. I almost gave up on the idea of ever being hired at all, but my boss really loves the work I’ve been doing and he basically told HR where they could shove it. So now I’m in! I got the news today, and I’ll be an official AMC employee starting Friday. Now’s the time to put in your requests for free movie passes (seriously- if you live near an AMC theatre and want free tix let me know ASAP).
Something I imagine to be only mildly interesting to anyone but myself is the fact that I joined the reading club at the library here. They had their annual party last week and I met the film critic for the Kansas City Star. What a character. I also signed up to be on at least one of several reading committees for the American Library Association’s notable book selection process. Speaking of books, I just finished reading one called “Youth in Revolt,” by C.D. Payne. It was actually recommended to me by David Wayne, my new bus buddy. It’s a fictional journal by 14-year-old Nick Twisp who has the very best intentions (most of the time), but whose plans inevitably go horribly awry to hilarious ends. I enthusiastically pass on David’s recommendation.
Well, I think that covers it. I noticed that the month is almost over and I hadn’t written a thing, so I decided to do it all at once. Thanks for taking the time to read, and thank you even more for caring enough to bother.
XOXO.
Posted by April at 09:48 PM | Comments (0)
February 14, 2006
I'm Getting SPAMmed!
I just checked my email after being away for a few days- not anywhere special, just away from the Internet. Anyway- I had nine or ten messages saying people had commented on Confessions of a Feminist Housewife. So I check, naturally very excited at the prospect of people happening upon my little site, only to discover that it was all SPAM. Ugh. All of the messages came from just two ip addresses, and they were just linking to other websites- it was kind of hard to tell what they linked to but I detected the words Prada and Louis Vuitton.
How annoying- as if I don't get enough regular SPAM it's now showing up here, too. Especially annoying is the fact that I thought I suddenly had fans, or at least a few people who cared enough to comment. I should have known by the number of comments...
That's all I've got for now. I was just disappointed and was already logged in so I took the opportunity to vent.
Happy Valentine's Day, too!
Posted by April at 05:47 PM | Comments (3)
January 21, 2006
Working Woman
I am now gainfully employed!!! After a long and stressful job search I’ve been hired on a temporary-to-permanent basis at AMC Theatres in their corporate office. The temp-to-hire thing basically means that if I do well then I’ll be hired. A lot of companies do that to avoid hiring a person only to discover they’re a disaster. So far it seems I’m doing well- I’ve only been there three days and have magically earned a reputation as an Excel “whiz” (their term, not mine).
So far I’ve been helping to book screenings- when a movie studio rents a theatre for a promo or premiere. In the future my primary duty will be to coordinate which trailers play before which movies, which isn’t as glamorous as I initially thought it was. The studios request what trailers they want played for each new movie that’s being released and I just process those requests. I don’t get to make any actual decisions about which trailers will go well with the movies.
One fun thing about my job is that every Friday they show trailers to everyone at the company and then we vote on how much we’d like to see the movie based on the trailer. I guess they use that to get an idea of how well a movie will be received by the public. I’ve only done it once, but there are some really bad movies coming soon to a theatre near you (and a few that look okay). I don’t think I’m allowed to disclose anything more than that.
Well—I know this hasn’t been the most interesting post, but I’m excited and relieved to be working again and wanted to share the news.
Posted by April at 10:09 AM | Comments (0)
January 08, 2006
Happy New Year!
Well, we've successfully moved out of our former residence in Joplin. Nate has his bachelor pad (still in Joplin, unfortunately) and I'm living in Kansas City- a city second only to Rome for its abundance of fountains. Here's a picture of the place:
The photo doesn't do it justice- it's really much cuter in person. I live on the lower level, with Buffy and Hermano and Nate visits on weekends. It's hard not seeing him more often, but I think it an acceptable sacrifice since it's not forevor and KC is 1000 times better than Joplin. I look forward to posting my "big city" adventures here and apologize for the long absence. Between the move and the holidays Feminist Housewife wasn't at the top of my list.
Speaking of holidays- I hope everyone had a nice time. It seemed our holiday season was spread out over several weeks, beginning with our trip to California at the beginning of December for the Reliance Communications Christmas party. We got to see Nate's family while we were out. Here's a picture of Kelley (Nate's mom) and Jill (his sister) in front of Nate and Jill's Aunt Linda's Tree:
We got a Christmas tree for the house in Kansas City a few days before the big one, so it was only $10. And it's still up! Maybe next weekend we'll take it down... The cats really liked having the tree:
And because I tend to obsess over the kitties, here are a couple more:
Posted by April at 03:48 PM | Comments (0)
December 02, 2005
A Joke in Cartoon Form
I have been wanting to post this as part of my ongoing Visit to California Series (which it now looks like I will not be finishing, as I am about to leave for another trip).
Below is a joke my sister Rebecca told me. Her friend Rose told her. I am unsure if anyone told it to Rose or if she made it up. It was Rebecca's suggestion to make it into a cartoon so more people can enjoy it, as it is not the type of joke one can tell over the phone.
I hope you like it:
Posted by April at 07:54 PM | Comments (0)
November 16, 2005
Trip to California, pt 2
Time for the second installment of my journey journal. We’re still in Yosemite, this time it’s day two—Bridal Veil Falls and Glacier Point. I doubt this is very interesting to anyone but I’ve got little better to do. Does it help that I’m trying to post pictures that have people in them as much as possible? Or what if I offer some recent news? Nate and I found a terrific apartment in Kansas City!!! We get to move in mid-December, after another trip to California.
I’ll discuss details of the new place later; I have to get on with the rest of my trip pictures before I start getting bored with them:
There is Bridal Veil Falls, one of two waterfalls that was still flowing during our visit. The other was Vernal Falls, which I think will be part of the next installment.
There’s my mom, at the very bottom of the picture. Even Bridal Veil was barely a trickle compared to how it is in spring and early summer. If we’d been there then we could not have gotten as close as we did.
That’s an oak tree I took a picture of for its beautiful golden foliage. Yosemite in fall is really amazing if you’re into autumn leaves, which I happen to be. A few days later I went to the doctor’s office with my sister (just a prenatal check up) and there was an issue of Sunset magazine whose cover story happened to be Yosemite in fall. We stole it.
There’s my mom’s back at Glacier Point, a place in Yosemite I’d never been to before this. It’s something like 4,500 feet above the floor of the valley and the views are spectacular—something the next photo only hints at.
That’s a view of El Capitan from Glacier Point. On the map they give you when you enter the park, the road going to the valley floor looks like it’s right next to the road going to Glacier Point. They would be except for the latter being thousands of feet straight up, something that doesn’t translate well on a two-dimensional map, even with shading to indicate elevation.
Posted by April at 05:06 PM | Comments (0)
November 13, 2005
Home Again Home Again Jiggidy Jig
I’ve returned to Misery after nearly four weeks in California—and I can safely say that I will never again take such an extended leave from home without Nate. Despite feeling incredibly homesick four days into the trip I had a good time. For the most part. Imagine spending more than ten days with your immediate and some extended family in close quarters and you’ll get an idea of what I mean. It was just too long of a trip. My itinerary began with the famous PMA antique show in San Mateo, followed by five days in Yosemite with my mom, followed by two weeks in Fortuna (Humboldt County) at my older sister’s house- along with her husband, son, my mom, and my younger sister. Oh, and three dogs and a cat. My newborn niece, little Olivia Rose, joined us on October 28th. I’ve got lots of pictures and even a few amusing anecdotes to share, so this begins part one of my Grand Vacation Recap. I hope you’ve packed your Dramamine because this is going to be a wild ride!!!
I’m sorry- I know this is the seminal picture of Yosemite Valley, and I’m not Ansel Adams—but I had to include it. Taken from the main entrance road into the valley you can see El Capitan on the left (over 3,000 feet tall!), some other formations on the right (I don’t remember what they’re called), and way off in the hazy distance is Half Dome.
Here is my mom standing in front of a group of trees called the Bachelor and the Three Graces. I really like that, ‘The Bachelor and the Three Graces.’ The Bachelor is the big one in front, with the Graces in a row behind (the third Grace is obscured by the Bachelor in much of the picture). This is a composite of three pictures, as giant sequoias are- well, giant.
There I am, dwarfed by a tree aptly named the Clothespin Tree. This was our first day in Yosemite and we hiked through the Founders’ Grove—famed for its giant sequoias, the largest trees on earth. California redwoods are the tallest, also in the sequoia family, but the giant sequoias are the largest by mass. There’s one more species in the sequoia family, but it’s not very large and it's indigenous to China.
This is another well-named tree, the Grizzly Giant—also in the Founders’ Grove. I know it’s not a super-interesting photo because the scale gets lost in translation, but some of those branches are larger than most whole trees.
This is still on our first day in Yosemite, at Founders’ Grove, after we discovered that the distances on the trail signs are one-way. So instead of a 2.5-mile hike we did five. This picture was from the top of the grove, about 400 feet above the point where we began. I know it doesn’t sound like much but I’m really out of shape and (in her words) my mom is “no longer a spring chicken.” We were trying to look as tired as we felt, does that come across?
Well, that’s part one; more to come soon. Next time you can look forward to Yosemite’s famous Bridal Veil Falls and breathtaking views from Glacier Point.
Posted by April at 08:58 AM | Comments (0)
October 07, 2005
Loser
I recently entered my purses in a craft contest for Venus Magazine, a feminist publication with a musical focus. I was waiting to say anything about it here because I didn’t want to jinx my chances of winning, but now it seems that doesn’t matter because I haven’t won. That’s right, I’m a loser. But I’m also a winner because I gave it my best, as evidenced by the website I created as my entry. You should check it out; there are pictures of the three most recent purse creations as well as complete (and illustrated) instructions for how to make them.
Posted by April at 01:36 PM | Comments (0)
October 04, 2005
Pictures of My Past
Yesterday I posted so many words I feel the need to balance the site with some pictures. I went through my box of photos, which is an interesting emotional experience. Some pictures make me really nostalgic, some remind me how many embarrassing moments I’ve had, and many make me wince at some of my fashion and hairstyle decisions. The ones I’ve elected to post today just make me really happy. I was hoping to post some from my time in college, but those are all too unflattering, too incriminating, or both.
The first is of David, beloved friend and husband. I think this is from my trip to visit him in South Carolina, and I think I took it after we ate some of his brother’s special cookies. David looks good in a toga, doesn’t he?
This one serves as a reminder of why I don’t bake. My last attempt at making a cake from scratch, over ten years ago, is pictured below and you can see the result.
And here is another cake I bought at a bakery (or rather at the bakery counter of a supermarket) see how much nicer it looks? You were so touched by that store-bought cake, Carlo.
This is a funny one of my sister Autumn and me at the Horde Festival, 1998- apparently. Do you remember that, Autumn? The picture, I mean. I know you remember what happened before the show.
My family likes to give gifts along a theme and one year my sister Summer got a lot of stuff involving chickens. Here’s one of them.
Here is a cute one of my younger sister having fun on the tree swing in front of our house. She is probably about seven or eight here. Somehow I doubt she swings from the redwoods like this.
And here she is again wearing a diaper on her head. Fortunately Rebecca stopped using diapers as hats shortly after she stopped wearing them on her bum. That’s me in the background—I touched this one up in Photoshop a little to make it easier to see.
Here’s a classic picture with me and my two older sisters Autumn (with the classic 1970’s tomboy cut), and Summer (with the braces). I was ten months old in this picture. Look at those ears!
The last one is of me at five months. You know, I’ve seen this picture hundreds of times but I just now noticed how cute the Snoopy pajamas are.
Well, thanks for indulging me on this trip down memory lane. I’ll see if there are any more pictures I can post to include anyone who may have been left out of this batch.
Posted by April at 05:15 PM | Comments (3)
October 03, 2005
Greener Rewrite
Based on the reviews I’ve gotten I’ve rewritten ‘Greener Pastures.’ It’s now in three parts and almost twice as long. I think it’s better than the first, don’t you?
And on a completely separate (and disturbing) topic: We drove past a garage sale this weekend and they were selling guns. At a garage sale. Nate wanted to buy one for my three-year-old nephew, but I thought it best to wait until he starts kindergarten.
Greener Pastures, take two
Ted and Belinda sat in the smallest of three conference rooms at Clarkson & Kent, one of the preeminent accounting firms in the city. Belinda, an angular and petite woman who wore her greying hair short and spiky, was in the process of explaining her company’s vacation and sick leave policies to Ted. Belinda was conducting Ted’s second interview for the position of Junior Executive Assistant, though she was distracted and disengaged for most of their conversation. Belinda found Ted capable enough but wasn’t genuinely concerned with what he said, nor did she press him for details.
The fact was she resented being placed in the position of interviewer in the first place. She hated doing interviews and this was compounded by the fact that Ted, or whoever else might be hired, would probably never see her again. Belinda worked as Mr. Clarkson’s chief of staff and was filling in today for Judy, Mr. Kent’s ‘girl Friday’ and Belinda’s workplace nemesis. Judy’s daughter was giving birth to her fifth or sixth child today and Judy was at the hospital. Belinda didn’t see why she should lose an entire day’s work conducting interviews for another department. Interviews that could have easily been rescheduled considering that the child was being delivered by c-section.
For his part Ted wasn’t paying attention to the interview either. He focused instead on his surroundings—every surface was smooth and cool: glass, concrete, steel, and exotic hard woods. Ted saw his reflection in the smoky glass wall behind Belinda and thought of how far he’d come since his humble beginnings as a receptionist for a plumbing parts manufacturer five years earlier. Then his “desk” had just been a folding table in the front of a dusty warehouse. There hadn’t even been a computer for him, not that he needed one. Ted had spent six weeks transferring calls to various branches of the plumbing company before he made up his mind to move on. He’d been moving on ever since.
After that fateful decision Ted spent his evenings embellishing his resume and e-mailing it to dozens of different companies, most of which he’d picked out of the phone book based on the size and quality of their yellow page ad. Eventually Ted landed another reception position at a small dentist office. It didn’t take long before he was disillusioned with that job as well. While he did have a computer the monitor was only eight inches, the program he used to schedule appointments ran on DOS, and there was no Internet access. Additionally, the dentist’s office was located in one of the poorer ethnic boroughs of the city. Ted wasn’t bothered by the ethnicity as much as the poverty. He determined to find another position and within a few weeks’ time he did.
The past five years had more or less gone the same way: Ted would get a job, soon grow to hate it, find another- presumably better- position, and quit his current job. He always made up a lavish excuse to account for his sudden departure despite his previous enthusiasm and excellent performance. For if nothing else, Ted always gave his best. Then he would begin his new job and start the whole process all over again.
Belinda brought Ted from his reverie when she stopped reading from her notes on the company’s 401k plan and sat up in her seat. She was glad the interview was almost over and sounded relieved when she said, “Well- do you have any questions for me, then?”
“Yes, actually. I’d just like to be sure there aren’t any questions regarding my ability to perform the job if I were hired.” Ted smiled confidently. He’d recently read this was the way to close a job interview and had been practicing it all morning.
Belinda’s smile was a mechanical reaction to Ted’s. If she had to listen to one more person use that line today she knew she’d explode. “No- I think we’ve covered everything.” Belinda stood and extended her hand to him, “Thank you for coming by, Mr. Robeson. You’ll be hearing from us soon.”
Ted shook her hand firmly, “And thank you very much for your time. Have a nice day.” He was still smiling as he left the conference room. As he passed by the people he hoped would soon be his colleagues Ted was pleased he’d decided to wear his Armani instead of his Brooks Brothers suit today. Clarkson & Kent was an Armani kind of place.
----------------------------------------
“…And then he said, ‘No, mom- you go to church. I have to go home. There are things I need to do.’ Can you believe that? He’s not even three yet!”
Ted and Cindi sat across from each other at the sushi restaurant where they’d had their first date. Ted absently stirred wasabi into his soy sauce as Cindi recounted her nephew’s latest performance of ‘Kids Say the Darnedest Things.’
“Ted? Are you all right? You’ve hardly said anything all evening.” Cindi reached across the table for her companion’s hand but he withdrew it and straightened his tie as he cleared his throat. Cindi looked concerned and then sheepish when she suddenly remembered something. “Oh my god, how could I forget? Your interview today—how did it go?” Cindi reasonably guessed the interview as the reason behind Ted’s mood; poor thing was completely wrong.
“I don’t think we should see each other any more.” Ted cleared his throat again and took a long swallow of Kirin.
Cindi almost laughed but as she searched Ted’s expression her heart sank. “You’re not joking; you’re serious about this? I don’t understand…”
Ted sighed, “We have different priorities, Cindi. This would never work in the long run and I think it’s best if we just go our separate ways now because it will only be that much harder down the road.” Ted had rehearsed this and delivered it as though he really believed it—that it made him sad to say so but there was no denying the truth.
Cindi swallowed hard to keep from crying. “But you don’t know about my goals or priorities or whatever.” She dabbed the corners of her eyes with a napkin. “We’ve never even talked about the future that way. We don’t even make plans for more than a week or two in advance. What do you really mean?”
“I mean that when I envision my future, my life how I want it to be in five or ten years, I can’t picture you in it.” This part was true, though Ted hadn’t thought it out in exactly those terms before.
Cindi was a nice enough woman, and they’d had a lot of fun together—at first. Ted met Cindi the same way he met all his girlfriends, online. They met in chat rooms over a few weeks, graduated to phone calls, then dinner and, after an appropriate amount of time, to bed. It had been about six months since Ted and Cindi began seeing each other regularly and Ted had started to think their relationship might be different than those in his past.
But it had started again—the doubts, his acute awareness of her slightest faults. Like the way she pronounced favorite with only two syllables: FAV-rit. Or the way she talked about ‘When she was in college,’ like there were sororities and intramural sports at the technical academy where she’d studied to become a dental hygenist. The worst was the terrible question of why she insisted on spelling her name in that ridiculous manner and then correcting everyone who spelled it normally. Then of course there was the anxiety, the way his breath constricted every time the phone rang and it was Cindi’s voice on the other end. It was over. The symptoms had come later than usual with Cindi, he’d hoped it might work, but Ted had been through it enough times to know there was no denying the fact.
By now Cindi was crying openly and her eye makeup was disastrously streaming. Her attempts with the napkin only made the problem more evident. Ted was conscious of the other restaurant patrons’ attention even though no one looked directly at them. He called for the check.
“You know what, Ted?” Cindi pulled at each word between sobs.
He just looked at her.
“I always thought you were kinda weird, but I never would have taken you for a rat bastard.” She sniffled and grabbed the check as soon as the waitress brought it. Then she stood, trying her best to compose herself. Cindi could tell Ted was flustered she’d taken the check. “Cut the crap, Ted. I know you’re broke—you don’t need to pretend anymore.”
Ted watched Cindi pay for their meal at the bar and as she left he wondered if perhaps their relationship might have worked after all.
--------------------------------------
Ted woke promptly at 6:15 am to “She Will be Loved” by Maroon 5 on the clock radio. Cindi’s favorite band was Maroon 5 and he tried not to think about her as he got up and poured himself a cup of coffee, grateful for small advancements in technology- the sort that allowed him to program his coffee maker ahead of time, having it ready as soon as he was. He sat at his desk and checked the weather report (for the third time), as well as the traffic conditions. Today was his first day at Clarkson & Kent and he wanted to be sure he would be on time.
As Ted drove to the office he thought about all the jobs he’d had and all of his relationships and was on the cusp of discovering a correlation between the two when he arrived and the issue left his mind instantly. No matter how things had been for him in the past he was optimistic that here he would feel differently, that this would finally be a position he could settle into. He might even meet a dateable woman here. The office was certainly nice enough. He waved to the attendant as he pulled into the underground garage and then took the elevator to the second-to-top floor. He walked into the offices of Clarkson & Kent at 7:45 on the nose. Ted was careful to arrive early for the first few weeks of any new job, wanting to make the best impression possible. He made his way to Mr. Kent’s half of the office to find his new supervisor. Ted smiled and greeted everyone he passed, impressed by how stylish and modern they all were. Everyone looked like they shopped at French Connection or Banana Republic; they could have easily passed for models in a catalogue. He was sure he’d reached his professional destination at last.
Ted was disappointed that he didn’t come across Belinda; he’d wanted to thank her again for the interview. He hoped Mr. Kent’s chief of staff would be as sharp as Belinda. As he came to Judy’s desk Ted’s optimism drained like the contents of a marooned oil freighter, poisoning a once pristine environment. Judy was middle-aged, wearing a cheap polyester pantsuit and garish floral print blouse. Her hair was badly permed and the most unnatural shade of red he’d ever seen. While Belinda reminded him of Annette Benning, Judy was Bette Midler at her worst.
Between bites of a fast-food breakfast sandwich Ted heard her speaking to someone on the phone, “Seven pounds, three ounces and fit as a fiddle. He’s just as cute as can be—takes after his mother, thank god.”
Ted was taken aback not only by Judy’s appearance but also by the obviously personal nature of her phone conversation, the dishevelment of her desk—or at least what he could see from beneath her breakfast’s greasy wrapper. There was a dying philodendron sitting on a bookshelf behind her and several dusty frames holding pictures of children that Ted imagined had been taken on special at the Wal-Mart photo studio. His displeasure must have registered in his posture because Judy finally noticed him standing before her.
Judy gave him a smile, revealing teeth of horse-like proportion, and said, “ ‘Morning- what can I do you for?”
That afternoon Ted spent his lunch hour with the classifieds and a highlighter.
Posted by April at 04:19 PM | Comments (0)
September 19, 2005
Zoetrope
For the last few days I’ve been obsessed by a website, Zoetrope.com, that I stumbled upon while playing with the idea of having my story published. The site is a brainchild of Francis Ford Coppola and can best be described as an online artists’ colony cum film studio. There are sections devoted to art/design, acting, directing, and several for writing. In the writing section each member must review a certain number of submissions by other members in order to have their work reviewed; basically an online writer’s workshop.
I’ve been reading and reviewing stories for the last few days in order to get reviews of Greener Pastures. I’m grateful for the praise I’ve gotten here, but wanted more substantial criticism. Well, I’ve finally reached my minimum quota of reviews and just finished reading what others had to say about my work. It’s funny—while everyone agreed Ted is not a sympathetic character they reacted quite differently. One reviewer dismissed the story altogether because of Ted’s disagreeable and superficial nature. He wrote something like “I don’t know why I should care about Ted or why you would want to write about him.” The other reviewers didn’t find it necessary to identify with the main character to appreciate the story as a whole.
The best reviews I got encouraged me to elaborate more on Ted’s relationship and break-up with Cindi, actually to elaborate more on everything, and to do something about the ending. I think they have a point; the story does almost read like a summary, as one reviewer put it. So I’m back to the drawing board to embellish Ted’s dreary existence and rethink the ending of Greener Pastures.
Posted by April at 09:51 AM | Comments (0)
September 12, 2005
Reading the Days Away
People I run into or speak on the phone with inevitably ask me what I’ve been up to. I inevitably say something like “Oh a lot of reading…” and then add something else because reading sounds so boring and almost on par with watching television as far as wasting time goes. Maybe that would be true if I were reading Danielle Steele romance novels, but I’m not. I’ve had my nose in a different book every few days for the last couple of weeks, and I’m loving it. Here’s a glimpse into my world recently:
Nickel and Dimed, by Barbara Ehrenreich
You’ve probably heard of this one. Journalist Ehrenreich goes to three different cities and attempts to support herself working low-wage jobs. Ehrenreich gets jobs that are above minimum wage, usually around $7.00 an hour and tries to earn enough to pay for rent, utilities, food, etc. While the outcome of the experiment is generally predictable Ehrenreich’s commentary is what makes the read so enjoyable. Alternately funny and depressing Nickel and Dimed is an insightful book about America’s working poor from the perspective of a member of the upper middle class.
Brothel, by Alexa Albert
This is another journalistically styled work of non-fiction. It’s Albert’s account of living at the Mustang Ranch, one of Nevada’s legal brothels. In it she interviews almost all of the women working there and becomes friends with many along the way. It’s an honest depiction of what life for “working girls” in Nevada’s brothels is like. Once I began reading this I couldn’t put it down it was so fascinating. Albert addresses many questions like the transmission of STDs in brothels, what leads the women to prostitution, the dynamic between the women and their clients, the often catty competition between women as well as their sisterly bonds and much, much more. Brothel makes a strong case for the legalization of prostitution and it does so in the most convincing way possible: by portraying real people’s stories alongside statistical public health and safety (not to mention fiscal) benefits of state-controlled prostitution.
Take the Cannoli: Stories from the New World, by Sarah Vowell
Sarah Vowell is a regular contributor to This American Life and Take the Cannoli is a collection of essays, some of which have even be featured on said radio program. The essays range in topic from mix tapes to the Trail of Tears but are unified by Vowell’s wit and wisdom. If you like David Sedaris you’ll enjoy Take the Cannoli by Sarah Vowell.
A Confederacy of Dunces, by John Kennedy Toole
Thank you, Mark, for recommending this book. It’s completely absorbing. I knew it was set in New Orleans and for some morbid reason felt like reading a novel that takes place in my favorite recently submerged city. I was unprepared for the hilarity that ensues from the first few pages, especially for Ignatius J. Reilly, the book’s main character who manages to be simultaneously grotesque and endearing. I’ve assigned A Confederacy of Dunces to Nate as required reading and heartily recommend it to you as well.
The Golden Compass, by Philip Pullman
A former roommate suggested I read The golden Compass, first in a series of three books, when I began reading Harry Potter. She used to work in a children’s bookstore and knows her stuff, I must say. It took a while for me to get around to investigating The Golden Compass, and I couldn’t be happier that I finally did. I bought a chard cover edition with plans of giving the books to my nephew some day. I’ll have to wait a little longer than I’d originally thought, for Pullman’s writing is more sophisticated and his stories more violent than those of Potter’s J.K. Rowling. The Golden Compass is, in many ways, superior to Harry Potter with the additional benefit of only having three books in the series, all of which are currently available.
Posted by April at 12:26 PM | Comments (0)
September 06, 2005
People are People
I’ve been asked on several occasions how living in Joplin differs from living in Santa Cruz. Because the differences are so vast it can sometimes be difficult to articulate. It’s worse than apples and oranges. It’s been frustrating trying to express the adjustment I’ve made—whether I’m making conversation or taking personal inventory of my life since Joplin. Lately I’ve been noticing some similarities between the two cities and I think that by focusing on what each place has in common it’s easier to understand how they’re different. For example:
No matter where they are people exercise their right to free speech: In Joplin they invoke it in favor of the President and in Santa Cruz against.
People work hard and appreciate the occasional night out on the town: In Joplin they frequent oversized “night clubs” complete with cover charges, neon lights, and the occasional brawl. In Santa Cruz the hot spot is the Red Room (or its smoke-free neighbor, the Red Lounge), a cozy bar in a historic hotel with a free jukebox that has kick-ass music.
People are susceptible to addiction: In Joplin the drug of choice is crystal meth; in Santa Cruz it’s heroin. I’m not saying that either substance is good in any way but I would like to point out that the former is associated with truckers and trailer trash while the latter is associated with rock stars.
People enjoy the Great Outdoors: In Joplin they go hunting or get drunk while floating in canoes. In Santa Cruz they surf, bike along the coast, or go hiking through the redwoods.
Young people are universally rebellious and tend to gravitate toward down town: In Joplin the youngsters “cruise” Main Street on Friday and Saturday nights. In Santa Cruz they loiter in front of Borders, hassling passers by for change and cigarettes day and night, every day.
People don’t like spending a lot on booze: In Santa Cruz they drink “Two Buck Chuck” (a wine available at Trader Joe’s- guess what a bottle costs). In Joplin they drink domestic beer from a can.
People like to go on walks: In Santa Cruz they walk their dogs. In Joplin they walk their kids.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this little cultural comparison between Joplin and Santa Cruz, that I’ve elucidated some of the finer points of difference between the two. I’m especially hopeful that this has served as a reminder that people are essentially the same, no matter where we go.
Posted by April at 12:01 PM | Comments (0)
August 26, 2005
The Little Man
Thanks everyone for your comments and encouragement. I especially needed it today. I had to make an emergency appointment with the vet after finding blood in Hermano’s poop this morning. The doctor said that while it is probably related to diet, we need to keep an eye on the little guy. I’m sure he’ll be fine—but I had quite a scare.
On a completely unrelated topic: I was at the library yesterday and came upon a book of insults by/about famous people. I copied this one by William Faulkner and found it amusing considering the comment I made about him yesterday:
Regarding Mark Twain: “…a hack writer who would not have been fourth rate in Europe, who tricked out a few of the old proven literary skeletons with sufficient local color to intrigue the superficial and the lazy.”
And I really enjoy Mark Twain, though I wouldn’t wholeheartedly deny being superficial or lazy.
Here’s a picture of Hermano and Buffy:
Posted by April at 01:17 PM | Comments (0)
August 25, 2005
A Story
After reading the Oxford Collection of American Short Stories for the last couple of days I thought I’d try my hand at writing one. Below is the result—my first-ever completed work of fiction. I’m curious to know your thoughts, critical or otherwise, but ask that you be gentle. I’m having a tough enough time as it is trying not to compare myself to Faulkner.
Anyway- it’s fun and it’s short. I hope you like it. The idea is one my friend Mark and I developed while we were in school together. I don’t think he’ll mind that I’m using it now.
Greener Pastures
Ted woke promptly at 6:15 am to the sound of the latest Top 40 power ballad on his clock radio. He got up and poured himself a cup of coffee, grateful for small advancements in technology- the sort that allowed him to program his coffee maker ahead of time, having it ready as soon as he was. He sat at his desk and checked the weather report (for the third time), as well as the traffic conditions. Today was his first day at Clarkson and Kent and he wanted to be sure he would be on time. He’d planned on driving an alternate route the previous evening, just to be safe, but things with Cindi had taken much longer than he’d anticipated.
Cindi was a nice enough girl, and they’d had a lot of fun together—at first. Ted met Cindi the same way he met all his girlfriends, online. They met in chat rooms over a few weeks, graduated to phone calls, then dinner and, after an appropriate amount of time, to bed. It had been about six months since Ted and Cindi began seeing each other regularly and Ted had started to think their relationship might be different than those in his past.
But it had started again—the doubts, his acute awareness of her slightest faults (like the way she pronounced favorite with only two syllables: FAV-rit). And of course there was the anxiety, the way his breath constricted every time the phone rang and it was Cindi’s voice on the other end. It was over. The symptoms had come later than usual with Cindi, he’d hoped it might work, but Ted had been through it enough times to know there was no denying the fact. So he took an unsuspecting Cindi to the sushi restaurant where Ted took all his first (and last) dates and broke up with her. He hadn’t expected her to take it so poorly, to be so emotional about it; but that was that. They must move on. Bigger and better things lay ahead. Greener pastures and all that.
Ted showered, shaved, and brushed his teeth. He only flossed in the evening. He put on the clothes he’d laid out for himself prior to his dinner with Cindi; glad that he’d thought to do so considering how long it had taken to calm her down. Eventually he’d resorted to sake, knowing Cindi to be a sleepy drunk, and was finally able to call a taxi for her.
But this morning Ted’s thoughts were primarily on his new position as Junior Executive Assistant to Mr. Kent himself! Clarkson and Kent was one of the eminent accounting firms in the city and Ted was fortunate for the opportunity. He wouldn’t, of course, be reporting to Mr. Kent himself, but to Mr. Kent’s chief of staff, who he’d yet to meet. It didn’t concern Ted that he knew nothing of accounting and had no interest in it. What did interest him was the environment in which he’d be working. Since his first interview and visit to the offices of Clarkson and Kent Ted had spent hours daydreaming what it would be like to spend his days in that pantheon of glass, steel, and exotic hard woods.
Clarkson and Kent was a far cry from where Ted had started out—as a receptionist for a plumbing parts manufacturer five years earlier. Then his “desk” had just been a folding table in the front of a dusty warehouse. There hadn’t even been a computer for him, not that he’d needed one. Ted had spent six weeks transferring calls to various branches of the plumbing company before he made up his mind to move on. He’d been moving on ever since.
After that fateful decision Ted spent his evenings embellishing his resume and e-mailing it to dozens of different companies, most of which he’d picked out of the phone book based on the size and quality of their yellow page ad. Eventually Ted landed another reception position at a small dentist office. It didn’t take long before he was disillusioned with that job as well. While he did have a computer the monitor was only eight inches, the program he used to schedule appointment ran on DOS, and there was no internet access. Additionally, the dentist’s office was located in one of the poorer, ethnic boroughs of the city. Ted wasn’t bothered by the ethnicity as much as the poverty. He determined to find another position and within a few weeks’ time he did.
The past five years had more or less gone the same way: Ted would get a job, soon grow to hate it, find another- presumably better- position, and quit his current job. He always made up a lavish excuse to account for his sudden departure despite his previous enthusiasm and excellent performance. For if nothing else, Ted always gave his best. Then he would begin his new job and start the whole process all over again. Ted’s jobs usually lasted about as long as his relationships, and sometimes the two even coincided.
Ted considered this briefly as he drove to Clarkson and Kent. He was optimistic that there he would feel differently, that this would finally be a position he could settle into. The office was certainly nice enough. He waved to the attendant as he pulled into the underground garage and then took the elevator to the second-to-top floor. He walked into the offices of Clarkson and Kent at 7:45 on the nose. Ted was careful to arrive early for the first few weeks of any new job, wanting to make the best impression possible. He made his way to Mr. Kent’s half of the office to find his new supervisor. Ted smiled and greeted everyone he passed, impressed by how stylish and modern they all were. He was sure he’d reached his professional destination at last.
As he came to the desk of Mr. Kent’s chief of staff all Ted’s optimism drained like the contents of a marooned oil freighter, poisoning a once pristine environment. Mr. Clarkson’s assistant, an affable yet commanding woman, had conducted Ted’s interviews while Mr. Kent’s head assistant was on vacation thus leaving Ted utterly unprepared for the woman before him. She was middle-aged, wearing a cheap polyester pantsuit and garish floral print blouse. She was in the middle of an obviously personal phone call between bites of a fast-food breakfast sandwich—the greasy wrapper for which added to her desk’s complete dishevelment. Ted was appalled at such a gross display of unprofessionalism. When she noticed Ted she gave him a smile, revealing teeth of horse-like proportion, and said, “ ‘Morning- what can I do you for?”
That afternoon Ted spent his lunch hour with the classifieds and a highlighter.
Posted by April at 03:01 PM | Comments (4)
August 23, 2005
Thrift Store Find
I went to the Goodwill today and got a shirt and a couple of books. The first book is ordinary enough, a collection of short stories edited by Joyce Carol Oates (I don’t particularly care for her work, but she seems to have pretty good taste when it comes to selecting other authors). The second book I got is a true treasure—a Spanish language instruction book from 1951. What make it so special are the illustrations. Classic 1950's kitsch with a Latin twist. Here are a few of my favorites:
From the chapter on doing business, which includes vocabulary words la ganancia (profit), el cobre (copper), and para servirle (at your service).
From the chapter on dining out. Includes this invaluable bit of conversation: "This table is covered with a white cloth." "And what is there on the table?" "On the table is the silverware: forks, knives, spoons and teaspoons."
From the chapter on visiting the doctor, where you'll learn the words for fever and pills but not car accident.
This is going to be perfect for collaging with, but it’s almost a shame to cut it up. Here’s a sample of the conversation from the second lesson:
“For my dinner I prefer ham and eggs, or bacon fried crisp.”
“Do you not like pork?”
“Yes, sir, but I prefer veal.”
Who doesn’t prefer veal?
Alongside the conversations are nearly unintelligible pronunciation guides to the Spanish version, for example the above snippet reads:
“Yoh pray-fee-ay’roh ayn lah koh-mee’dah way’vohs ee hah-mon’ oh toh-thee’noh bee-ayn’free’toh.”
“?Noh lay goostah lah kahrr’ nay thayrr’doh?”
“See, pay’roh pray-fee-ay’ roh day tayrr-nay’rah.”
The book is structured around The Cortina Method of language instruction—a method I’ve never heard of before today. From the preface:
“You may ask: ‘What is the secret of The Cortina Method’s success? How is it different from other ways to learn a language?’ One of the reasons is that the lessons are devoted to intensely interesting and every-day topics which encourage the student to learn. The lessons begin with subjects we all used as children when we first learned our native tongue. For instance, right from the start, the first lessons teach you the same words that a child first speaks: mother, father, brother, sister, as well as every-day words which relate to meals, drinks, clothing, footwear, and so on. Not only are these words easily put to use at once; not only are they much more interesting than the usual abstract and academic words a student is asked to learn—but they also strike a deeply primeval chord in all of us. This adds color and excitement and arouses in the student a desire to learn the language.”
I wonder exactly what types of abstract and academic words students of other language methods are expected to learn. I particularly like the suggestion that, among others, words related to footwear strike a deeply primeval chord. I’ve never paid much attention before but it might have something to do with the fact that I’m never satisfied with my collection of shoes, no matter how many pairs I have.
Here's the map that lines the inside covers of the book:
click for larger view
Posted by April at 04:29 PM | Comments (0)
August 10, 2005
This American Life
Lately I’ve been hooked on WBEZ in Chicago’s This American Life—a program distributed by Public Radio International. If you’ve never heard This American Life it’s a radio show aired weekly and syndicated nationally. Each program has a theme, such as ‘The Cruelty of Children’ or ‘The Sanctity of Marriage,’ and features stories along that theme. Writer David Sedaris is a regular contributor and his “Rabbit of Easter” is one of my favorites.
A friend of mine gave me a couple This American Life CDs for Christmas, shows titled ‘Crossed Wires’ and ‘Everyday Detectives.’ I’ve listened to each CD numerous times—usually on long drives where the scenery of the Midwest leaves one’s mind as barren as the landscape passing by. Given how much I love the two shows I have, I don’t know why it never occurred to me to check out the This American Life website. I recently mended this error to make the happy discovery that every episode is archived and available for listening. For free! I’m now completely addicted.
The stories run the full thematic specter: at times tragic, fascinating, informative, and hilarious. A young girl from Michigan recounts her pen-palship with Manuel Noriega during the 80’s. Scientists discuss their findings on what makes a successful marriage. Children leave a man in a well to die. A woman disinherits her her neice and nephew over an incident with some cheese. Every episode is, for me at least, thought provoking and insightful in some way. I’ve even developed a bit of a crush on Ira Glass, the host of the show, whose interview skills could teach Barbara Walters a thing or three.
If you’ve heard This American Life you know what I’m talking about. If you haven’t, go to their website RIGHT NOW and tune in, or order a CD. You can also download episodes (at a cost) at Audible.com. (Listening on This American Life's website is via Real Player.)
Posted by April at 03:27 PM | Comments (2)
August 08, 2005
Beautiful Baubles
While looking for hand made gifts for my sister’s recent birthday I came across this site by jewelry designer Laura Kim. Everything she does is just so pretty!
Equally impressive is the way she displays her work on her site. I’m particularly fond of her earring designs—but everything else is just as lovely. Take a look and you’ll be impressed.
Posted by April at 03:58 PM | Comments (1)
August 05, 2005
Fireflies - Lightning Bugs
Ten things you probably didn’t know about Fireflies:
Fireflies are beetles, not flies.
There are at least 136 species of fireflies, each with its own lighting pattern.
Fireflies light up in a mating signal—the male flies with his species’ unique pattern, waiting for a female on the ground to match it. Then they mate.
Fireflies are carnivorous—some females have even been known to eat male fireflies of other species by mimicking their glow signals.
Fireflies don’t bite, they don’t carry disease, and are not poisonous.
There is an old European legend that if a firefly flew into your window someone in the house would die.
Other insects can light up but fireflies are the only ones that can control it.
Fireflies are dormant over the winter, hibernating underground.
The chemicals fireflies use to light up (luciferin and luciferase) are useful in research of cancer, multiple sclerosis, cystic fibrosis, and heart disease.
There is a company that buys fireflies from the public, at a rate of one cent per insect.
Posted by April at 11:26 AM | Comments (0)
July 21, 2005
Music I’m Digging
I recently updated my I Pod and there are four albums I can’t stop listening to:
(Click on album art to purchase—trust me you won’t regret it!)
1. Martha Wainwright, Martha Wainwright
Spunky, pretty, and soulful describe Ms. Wainwright’s debut album.
2. M. Ward, Transfiguration of Vincent
Nate and I saw this Portland, OR artist open for Bright Eyes last year and I’m so happy to finally have this album. Now I want his latest release, Transistor Radio.
3. Detroit Cobras, Baby
I’m not sure how I stumbled upon the Detroit Cobras, but am grateful for the discovery. This female duo rocks.
4. Mekons, I Heart Mekons
The Mekons have many other albums, but this is the one I’ve got and it’s great! If their other releases are as good then I’ve got some collecting to do. (Unfortunately I can not find this album for sale anywhere. If you want, you can get other Mekons releases here).
Posted by April at 02:10 PM | Comments (0)
July 18, 2005
Images of California
There are some things I’m working on for Feminist Housewife, but I felt the need to post something in the interim. So—a photographic account of my two most recent trips to California.
The first trip was a while ago—it actually predates my last entry. I was working for Nate’s parents at the PMA show and I arrived early so I could spend time in Santa Cruz with friends. Here’s a picture of Hope behind some flowers.
I think we’d had quite a bit of wine by this point in the evening. By the way—I’ve stopped drinking. The decision fell between the two trips.
The next day (despite my hang over) Alison and I packed a picnic and headed for the beach, where we met Sid.
Sid is the sea gull above. His wing is broken. We fed him a lot of bread and chips as discreetly as possible so as not to alert the other sea gulls. Here’s a pic of Alison:
She’s such a sweetheart. The lucky duck is getting ready to trek across Europe, leaving any day now.
Then came the PMA show, where I took this one of Kelley and Jill; Nate’s mom and sister, respectively.
After the show I had a lovely time hanging out with Meadow—unfortunately I don’t have any photos of our time together. Then it was back to Joplin for about a week, I think. We returned to California for the Fourth of July holiday. Here are some pictures I took in the Phoenix airport. I don’t know who Nate’s on the phone with. I actually thought about calling him from my seat right next to him—he’s on the phone a lot when he travels.
That’s me—our waitress was weird and insisted on checking the picture to make sure she wasn’t in it. I don’t know what difference it would make, it’s not as if I would have agreed to delete it if she had been.
I’d recently made my decision to abstain from drinking and changed my plans to help me stay on course. Instead of staying in Santa Cruz with Matt and Hope (as much as I love them- I wasn’t ready) and remained in Calistoga with the Brogans instead. What a fabulous few days!!! My sister, brother in law, and nephew came to visit us in Calistoga. We had fun in the pool, and I wish I’d gotten more pictures of Simon playing in the water.
Well, that’s it. I always have a hard time coming back here after visits home. (At this point I consider the entire state of California home.) Nate could tell something was up when we were packing for the return trip. I told him how depressing I find Joplin to be, he sympathized, we talked, and came to a mutual decision to establish a primary residence in Kansas City (Nate will still need a place in Joplin for work). To say I’m happy about this is an understatement, but I’ll elaborate as things start progressing.
Posted by April at 01:07 PM | Comments (2)
June 28, 2005
The Pride of Vinita, Oklahoma
On the freeway between Joplin (where I live) and Tulsa, Oklahoma (the nearest airport) there is a McDonald’s restaurant that spans all lanes of traffic. There are several roadside signs boasting it as the “World’s Largest” and “Still the World’s Largest.” The first few times we drove under this McDonald’s I didn’t think about it one way or another. Then, largely because there is not much else to do or think about on the looong drive between Tulsa and Joplin, I began to question the veracity of the claims. I have, after all, been to the McDonald’s in Moscow—which is pretty big.
A Google search for “World’s Largest McDonald’s” does indeed show top listing for the restaurant located in Vinita, Oklahoma. Of course, this doesn’t mean that it’s the world’s largest, just that websites mentioning it are more popular than websites mentioning other McDonald’s as being the largest.
After a lot of looking I came up with four additional contenders for the title of World’s Largest McDonald’s:
1. Orlando, Florida: 15,000 sq ft seats 300.
2. Chicago, Illinois: 24,000 sq ft, seats 300.
3. Moscow, Russia: 28,000+ sq ft, seats 700.
4. Beijing, China: 28,000+ sq ft. According to this bizarre McDonald’s site, I-am-asian.com, the world’s largest is in Beijing. I can’t find any pictures or additional information on it. I guess we can just assume McDonald’s corporate keeps track of these things.
According to this site the McDonald’s in Vinita is 29,135 square feet and seats about 300 people. The site also sites Orlando as hosting the biggest McDonald’s—even though it’s only 15,000 sq ft.
In any case it doesn’t really matter because I don’t like McDonald’s and don’t plan on visiting any of the aforementioned locations. I prefer my fries without beef flavoring and prefer to frequent companies that don’t apply abhorrent business practices. Here are some good sites that sum it up much better than I could here:
Rotten.com offers a highly readble history of McDonald’s and all of the company’s shady dealings. The timeline is very detailed.
McSpotlight.org is a watchdog organization committed to informing the public of McDonald’s business practices. This site isn’t as concise as Rotten.com, but it is more current and in-depth.
Posted by April at 12:44 PM | Comments (5)
May 13, 2005
Wishing and Hoping
At Lowes the other day I heard one of my coworkers refer to “dandy-lions.” He wasn’t being cute, it’s just how he pronounces dandelion. I know I’m in the Midwest now, but this still really bothered me.
The conversation I overheard was pertaining to “dandylions” as lwan weeds that must be controlled. I might be a freak in this respect, but I kind of like dandelions. I like the bright yellow blossoms and have always enjoyed the fluffy white seed heads. I don’t mind them in my lawn, and particularly like the tradition of making a wish before blowing all the seeds from the stem.
As a kid I would use every dandelion as an opportunity to wish for a trip to Disneyland. Years later I got a job at the Magic Kingdom and spent at least one day there for each of those wishes.
The moral to the story? Dreams do come true, be careful what you wish for, and think twice before spraying herbicides on your lawn—whether you like dandelions or not.
Also- on the subject of wishing,
This is my Amazon Wish List.
Posted by April at 08:41 PM | Comments (0)
Alfred Hitchcock
Over the last year or so I’ve been trying to watch every Alfred Hitchcock film, getting only as far as the selection at my local video store will allow. Crown Video in Joplin has a decent classic section, within which is a good Hitchcock selection. Over the course of my journey through Alfred Hitchcock’s extensive catalogue I’ve discovered that while his reputation as a brilliant filmmaker is certainly deserved, some of his movies are less than brilliant.
The two that come immediately to mind (because they’re the two I’ve seen most recently, not necessarily because they’re the worst) are “The Man Who Knew Too Much” (1956) and “Torn Curtain” (1966). “The Man Who Knew Too Much” is a remake of a film by the same name, also directed by Hitchcock, which I haven’t seen.
The version I’m referring to stars James Stewart and Doris Day as loving parents whose vacation turns into a nightmare involving kidnapping, blackmail and espionage. I don’t take issue with the plot, characters, or the film as a whole. While it isn’t an edge-of-your-seater, like some of Hitchcock’s other films, there are some great moments. It’s Hitchcock’s treatment of the main characters, or rather the casting of those characters, that bothered me.
One of my favorite things about Alfred Hitchcock has been his ability to darken the otherwise wholesome filmography of James Stewart. Compare, for example, Stewart’s roles in “Rear Window” and “Vertigo” to “It’s a Wonderful Life” and “The Philadelphia Story.” I was hoping when I rented “The Man Who Knew Too Much” that Hitchcock would do the same for Doris Day. Unfortunately, she’s as sweet as ever (and gets to sing!) and Mr. Stewart is good ol’ Jimmy once again. I’ve heard that the original “Man Who Knew Too Much” is a better film, more noir. I think it’s the film noir factor that primarily leaves this movie wanting.
The other Hitchcock movie, “Torn Curtain,” is even more disappointing. It stars Julie Andrews and Paul Newman, two actors I normally love to watch. Especially Paul Newman. I get breathless when I just think of him in “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof” or “The Long Hot Summer.” Unfortunately Mr. Newman’s performance as a physicist in “Torn Curtain” never gets past tepid. Much of this is due to the fact that there is simply no chemistry between he and Julie Andrews, whose characters are engaged. Maybe it’s because her haircut makes her look thirty years older than him.
“Torn Curtain” is slow-paced and failed to engage Nate and I to the point of putting him to sleep. He wasn’t too tired to watch three hours of VH-1 later that night, though—the movie was just that boring. On the second night we tried to finish watching and was more interested in playing with the cats and Nate had to tell me how it ended.
So, if you’re a true fan of Alfred Hitchock, James Stewart, Doris Day, Paul Newman, or Julie Andrews you might want to watch “The Man Who Knew Too Much” and “Torn Curtain” for thoroughness’ sake, which reminds me of something. I have a friend who began getting every single Bob Dylan album ever released, in chronological order. Then he got to Bob’s shitty Christian music phase during the 80’s and was forced to re-think his earlier commitment. He would never listen to these albums, and it was likely that their presence on his shelf, alongside masterpieces like Highway 61 Revisited would begin to tarnish the glory of said masterpieces. My friend wisely stopped buying records just because they had Bob Dylan’s name on them and began purchasing those that captured Bob’s and not God’s spirit. After seeing these two Hitchcock films I’m also rethinking my earlier objective to see all of his work. I’d rather stick with the great ones and have a better opinion of him as a whole in the end.
Posted by April at 01:42 PM | Comments (0)
April 28, 2005
I am a web mogul!!!
Mwa ha ha ha!
I have successfully fixed one of the MT bugs that was driving me crazy, now for the rest of it. I found out today that there is a CSS for Dummies book.
I'll be ordering it soon, and then lookout world!!!
Posted by April at 07:31 PM | Comments (0)
April 27, 2005
I suppose I have to start somewhere...
I’m not sure that Moveable Type is the thing for me. I’ve been struggling with it for a couple of days now and find it a bit unforgiving. A lot of this is because I’m not very adept with CSS, something I’m trying to figure out. In the meantime I’ve found Textpattern, a program that promises the same end result as MT, but easier to use. We’ll see.
Posted by April at 12:51 PM | Comments (1)