June 06, 2005
The Great Short Debate
This is a bit silly- but I actually had a dilemma about whether or not I should wear shorts to work the other day. I’ve been wearing short-pants, or capris as they’re more popularly called. The short-pants have resulted in undesirable tan lines, but the trickier part is that I only have two pair and can usually only wear them once before needing to wash them. Watering plants is a hot and dirty job and I hate doing laundry. The obvious solution would be to get a few more pair of short-pants, but the budget doesn’t allow for it. The other options are to wear jeans (so hot! so hot!), or to wear shorts. Until recently the shorts weren’t an option because I thought all mine were too small. Then I rediscovered a pair that has always been too big for me. I tried them on, and they fit perfectly!
Now the dilemma: the rediscovered shorts are short. They’re not daisy dukes or anything, just average length shorts that seem shorter than average on my longish legs. Additionally, a recent trip to the dressing room with a bathing suit in hand has made me extremely self conscious of how the back of my legs appear. Cellulite city. While I know fluorescent lighting is no one’s friend, I still came away from the experience feeling scary and sad. So I continued doing a lot of laundry, wearing the occasional pair of jeans, and looking at other women I work with.
Comparing yourself to other people is heading very quickly down a slippery slope. I know this. But I can’t help it, I never have. Sometimes I’m better about it than others, and lately I haven’t been very good. Usually comparing myself to other people leads to increased feelings of inferiority; hence the slippery slope. My female co-workers, however, made for a healthier comparison: they all have cellulite on the back of their thighs. At least those that wear shorts do. There are a few others, like me, whose choice of bottoms never rises above the knee. I wonder if they’re as self-conscious as I am or if they just have a higher tolerance for heat.
This discovery lead me to the conclusion that most women have bumpy thighs and asses, a fact I was abstractly aware of but had never managed to really absorb. Furthermore, until I actually began checking out my co-workers I never noticed whether they had cellulite or not. Suddenly I realized that hardly anyone notices or cares about the backs of ladies’ legs, and the few who do are petty and hateful.
This new knowledge gave me the courage to wear my shorts to work and in a gesture of poetic irony, nature offered up a day that was cloudy and cool. In addition to feeling chilly I was still slightly uncomfortable about showing so much skin. My new confidence was still on the intellectual rather than the emotional level. As the day continued, however, I began to feel more self-conscious about the paleness of my upper legs—rather than their heft. Pigmentation is such an easier thing to deal than cellulite (which is mostly genetic) I was virtually cured of insecurity altogether by the end of the day.
The entire ordeal has reminded me how important and never-ending the struggle for complete self-acceptance is. Everyone wishes they were more this or less that. Not everyone has the body image hang-ups I do, but there are those who wish they were more outgoing, or had more money, or a better education, or job, or whatever. And there are people like me who wish they had all of these things, and more. The point is that few people besides the Dali Lama are perfectly content with themselves and their lives. This is kind of sad, but it only makes me feel better about my own struggle to reconcile my desire to be at peace with who I am right now with my desire to continue growing and improving as a person. As far as the shorts are concerned, they’ve found their way into my wardrobe rotation. It’s my way of being more self-accepting while still acknowledging that I need to get to the gym.
Posted by April at 12:10 PM | Comments (0)
May 25, 2005
Connections
Joplin, MO is about as conservative as you’d expect the Midwest to be. Four out of five cars have one (or more) of those magnetic ribbon decals proclaiming the driver’s support of our troops or asking God to bless America. When Nate and I came in December to find a place to live an alarming number of houses still had pre-election signage in their yards, perhaps a tribute to their leader’s victory. Not everyone here is a crazy NRA proponent, just as everyone in California isn’t a tree hugging hippy or part of movie industry. The overall tone in Joplin, however, does wax conservative more often than not. Welcome to the Bible Belt, right?
One of the funnier instances of the town’s traditionalist morality is a group of advertisements by a group called the Connection Institute. We first saw them at the movie theatre (part of the annoying pre-preview ‘entertainment’), then on posters at the mall, and now on billboards across town. The ads are poorly designed and all very similar to each other— pictures of 1950’s era teenagers looking wholesome (not unlike the picture above), headlined by a ridiculous statistic and the institute’s website. It’s the outlandish nature of the statistics that drove me to look into this Connection Institute and see what they’re all about.
First of all, entering “connection institute” in Google turned up a lot of non-related hits. So I googled “connection institute Joplin” and got a local listing. The Connection Institute is a division of an organization called Life Choices, a pro-life counseling and medical center whose mission is to “help women make healthy choices.” Organizations like Life Choices exist nationwide; they typically offer free pregnancy tests and if the test is positive it comes with lots of anti-abortion counseling. Think of it as the Religious Right’s answer to Planned Parenthood, except that at Planned Parenthood women and men can get a lot more than a pregnancy test (like gynecological exams, STD screening and treatment, free contraception and much more). Planned Parenthood also provides referrals for abortion services, and some locations perform abortions on site. For the record, Joplin does have a Planned Parenthood. It’s just not as well funded or active as Life Choices.
Besides putting up billboards, the Connection Institute hosts school seminars (both at the junior and high school levels). The title of the program is “Virtuous Reality.” One of their primary tactics is to show graphic slides related to sexually transmitted diseases, explain to the students that condoms don’t protect from STDs, and that the only safe sex is that which takes place in a monogamous marriage. There are some student quotes on the Connection Institute’s website that show the program to be pretty affecting, for example: “Risky sexual behavior is acting in any sexual activity with someone that is not your husband or wife. Our presenter seemed very caring… He was very motivated and wanted us to be informed. After seeing the STD slides and videos, and learning more about them, I know that I will wait for my significant other and we are married. I don’t want anything that will harm me or my future family.”
If the statistics students learn in the Virtuous Reality program are as screwy as those on Connection Institute’s advertisements then there is some serious misinformation happening. Let’s take a look:
The following statistics are from the Connection Institute’s website where each stat is listed with a link for its source, which is where I’ve gone for my information unless otherwise noted.
92% of teens believe abstinence is the best choice for themselves and their peers.
This comes from a 2003 report by the National Campaign to End Teen Pregnancy, a non-partisan organization. The report actually says that 59 percent of teens think abstinence is the best choice. The 92 percent comes from the number of teens who think that society should send a stronger abstinence message. This is in the same paragraph that shows the majority of teens (60 percent) would like more information about contraception AND abstinence.
92% of teens think that being a virgin is a good thing.
The link to this report, from the Kaiser Family Foundation, didn’t work so I went to the KFF website and did a search. I found a more recent one that shows the same results. Nice work, Connections Institute! But wait, there must be more…The KFF report goes on to say that 29 percent of teens feel pressure to have sex. And the report referenced by the first stat says that 26 percent of teens (and 33 percent of teenage boys) think that it’s embarrassing to admit to being a virgin. Also on the KFF website is a report titled “National Survey of Adolescents and Young Adults: Sexual Health, Attitudes, and Experiences,” 2003. This report says that the pressure to have sex in high school is second only to drinking, the “majority saying that while putting off sex may be a ‘nice idea nobody really does.’” So it would seem that virginity isn’t quite the rage a whopping 92 percentage would lead you to believe.
86% of teens respect their parents above anyone else.
This is from an online article about marketing strategies for today’s teens as opposed to the Generation X and Yers. Here’s a direct quote: “Today’s kids are more apt to trust parents (86 percent), teachers (86 percent) and the police (83 percent) than music celebrities (35 percent) and athletes (30 percent) (Applied Research & Consulting LLC).” Where does the ‘parents above anyone else’ come from? Especially considering teachers have the same trustworthiness percentage.
77% of teens believe a good marriage and family life is extremely important.
From the Rutgers National Marriage Project article, “Changes in Teen Attitudes Toward Marriage, Cohabitation and Children: 1975-1995.” While 78 percent of teen surveyed say marriage is extremely important (if you add those who thought it “quite” important you get 92 percent), only 61 percent actually believe their marriage will last their lifetime. And, as an added bonus- 60 percent think it’s a good idea for people to live together before they get married. That’s not very Christian of them.
73% of teens don’t use cigarettes.
This one’s accurate, from the CDC. An interesting side note: 58 percent have tried cigarettes.
56% of teens don’t use alcohol.
Another accurate use of CDC statistics. Interesting that so far the only true and fairly reported stats don’t directly relate to teens having sex. In case you were wondering here are a few more stats: 75 percent of teens have tried alcohol, 40 percent who’ve tried pot, 9 percent have tried cocaine, 12 percent have tried inhalants, 6 percent have tried steroids, and 8 percent have tried meth.
86% of teens are involved in volunteer work.
This one is so lame I’d like to know how they use it despite those pesky Christian consciences. The statistic is quoted from that same marketing article, and comes from a survey that UCLA took in 2001 of incoming freshmen. SO just to clarify: 86 percent of freshmen entering UCLA in 2001 had volunteered (probably just so they could put it on their college applications), not 86 percent of all teens.
72% of teens are confident in the future of their generation.
This comes from a survey taken of 655 eleventh graders in Fairfax County, Virginia in 2000. Need I say more? I’m actually relieved to have cleared this up because I was really wondering about the 14 percent of teens who participate in volunteer work but don’t feel good about the future of their generation.
67% of teens will graduate from high school.
This is accurately reported from the United Healthcare website, which uses statistical information from the National Center for Education. Am I the only person who thinks this is low? Also worth noting is that the percentage is down from 1998, when it was 71 percent (Manhattan Institute).
64% of teens who graduate will enroll in college.
This comes from a report by the Bureau of Labor Statistics, and I had a hell of a time finding anything else on the matter- so the jury’s still out on this one.
One statistic that I think is relevant to this discussion (and one not brought up by the Connection Institute) is that 47 percent of teens have had sex, and by the time they reach their senior year that goes up to 49 percent (CDC). It looks like about half (45 percent) of the students who think virginity is the best choice for them and their peers aren’t actually virgins. This is why I think the Connection Institute’s aggressive abstinence only tactics are potentially dangerous. Scare tactics (graphic STD images), misleading information (condoms won’t prevent STDs), and religiously based propaganda (the only safe sex is between a married man and woman) might keep some teens from having sex. It might even get a few who are already doing it to stop. But what about the rest? Is someone who’s already sexually active going to feel more or less comfortable talking to her or his partner about condoms after sitting through a Virtuous Reality seminar? Especially considering the use of condoms has just been trivialized as ineffective against disease prevention. Now would be a good time to mention that 50 percent of newly reported cases of HIV in the US are from people under the age of 25 (CDC). Condoms, while not 100 percent effective, greatly reduce the likelihood of transmission of STDs, including HIV (CDC).
Christian groups like Life Choices and its spawn, Connections Institute are trying to save America’s youth by keeping them from having sex out of wedlock. I can almost understand where they’re coming from- teenage pregnancy and STDs are serious issues- until I remember that denying teenagers the information they need to make healthy, responsible choices is only going to keep them from being healthy and responsible.
Posted by April at 08:05 PM | Comments (0)