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January 24, 2006

What I Wish I'd Said # 1

sexandraymond.jpg

You know how when you’re in the shower the most random things occur to you? Well, they do me at least. This morning I couldn’t stop thinking about an incident that happened a while ago, Thanksgiving, actually. It was one of those classic situations where someone said and/or did something and I reacted in one way but wish I’d come up with something really clever, or at least insightful, as a response. I have many of these moments, and have created a new category of Feminist Housewife to accommodate them—the “What I Wish I’d Said” category.

Here’s what happened: Nate and I accepted an invitation to some people’s house for the annual turkey holiday (actually, Nate accepted and I went along begrudgingly). One of our hosts (the male of the partnership, with all the stereotypical alpha-male characteristics) was talking with one of the other guests about TV. An innocent enough subject, in and of itself. Ever the gracious guest, Nate asked our host (we’ll call him Joe) if he enjoyed Everybody Loves Raymond. (Another parenthetical side note: this program is sort of an inside joke between Nate and I because we hate this show, proving that not everybody loves Raymond.) Joe said that he did, in fact, quite enjoy Ray Romano’s prime-time exploits. He then turned to his other guest and said something along the lines of, “I caught a few minutes of Sex and the City, though, and it was awful!!! They had two women in a hot tub, and they were talking about {insert female erogenous topic here}—I couldn’t believe it! They had this shit on at 7pm. Kids are watching this shit!!!” The other guest then says something like, “I’ve never seen Sex and the City.” Joe responds (again, I’m paraphrasing), “Dude—you’re not missing anything. Disgusting filth.” (Joe really did use at least one of these words, maybe both- sorry for the hazy report, it’s been a while.)

There are a few things to note here:

It’s my theory (and I’ think it’s a good one) that Joe is uncomfortable with the idea of women being empowered sexually. If the women in that episode of S&C were simply having some hot girl-on-girl action I think he wouldn’t have objected. Or at least not as strongly. I propose it was their discussion of {insert female erogenous topic here} which made him so uncomfortable. Do you see what a hypocrite he is? It’s the worn out double standard that makes it okay for a man to go out and sow his oats, but demands that women keep their legs closed and ankles crossed. Now—I’m not endorsing promiscuity for anyone (female or male), but I think it’s only fair that the media show both sides, which I think it does- for the most part. There are just some people, like Joe, who only want one side of the story, and to them I would say…(here it comes, what I wish I’d said)... “I happen to think Sex and the City is a really important commentary on what women – single or otherwise – go through; it’s been an important factor in our cultural advancement by helping people feel comfortable discussing things that are common but may have previously been considered taboo. And it’s funny, unlike Ray Romano.”

Posted by April at January 24, 2006 12:15 AM

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